Loser club

So I finally saw the Biggest Loser yesterday. I love this show, because it's inspiring. I mean, it hasn't gotten me to get off my ass and lose some serious weight, but it's inspiring to see people do it. The struggles, the tears, Bob, the happiness, Bob.

Last night I was sooo turned off. I have NEVER in all the years watching this show, saw someone be so mean and evil spirited as Vicky. My heart broke for Phillip and his wife. They seem like geniune nice people. Everyone has always been so supportive in their same struggle. Then next week's preview. Oh my. I really do hope Vicky is turned on, because it's not nice being mean.

Even all my love for Bob, upsets me because, though they are on his team, he's cheering them on, and knows what a bitch she is.

I am really cheering for Michelle and Renee.

Growing Pains

I think Mateo is going through growing pains. He woke up yesterday and said his legs hurt. My son is very dramatic. After he got done with his morning business, he walked out of the bathroom and immediately exclaimed, "My legs hurt!!!" and fell to the floor. You see he couldn't waalkk cause his legs hurt so bahad ;) Off to school he went. When I picked him up, his teacher told me he was complaining about his legs hurting him and he wanted to lay down. Plus he was a little warm. So by bedtime, yep, he had a fever. Great.. So I am home today with him. It probably got up to 102.3. Took him to Dr. this am, and there is nothing wrong with him. Probably just some virus. The doctor couldn't give me an explanation about his legs, but hopefully his fever will break today.

On other news, how freakin' exciting was BB8 last night??!! Did you see Dustin's face. He had no clue!!!

I thought Danny should have won on SYTYCD last night, but whatever I'm over it.

My DVR gave out in the middle of the night. Thank G-d I was home today, so I can return it and get a new one. BUT now, I have to reschedule EVERYTHING. And to top it off, it's a new system, so I have to learn the new system! Thank goodness I had watched practically everything on my DVR, except for 2 eppies of Damages and something else, but I can't remember.

I think I'm gonna scrap today. Mateo is relaxing watching Flushed Away, maybe he'll take a nap. I want to work on some challenges from Babycenter. They involve prizes, I mean who doesn't love prizes!!! I'm gonna try my hardest to get something done. Laundry??? Ah, I have tons to do, but don't really want to do it. At least my kitchen is clean, kinda.

Oh, my Kitchen, where do all these ants come from???!!! I can't get rid of them, they are everywhere!! Even in the carpet!!!

Heroes!

omigawd! Have you seen that Heroes comes back on Sept. 24. Woot-woot!! Now for some real TV.

So I just couldn't go back and read Marie Antoinette or Lovely Bones. So I am going to add those to spots 3 & 4. I started reading I know why the caged bird sings. I've only gotten through a few pages, but so far so good. It's by Maya Angelou and based on her life. It's funny and sad and eye opening for a person so naive as me.

I haven't scrapped in forever, well like 2 weeks. I'm itching for it. Right now, I'm not feeling great. I don't know what it is. Everything in my bubble has gone bonkers. Everything. The only good news is my niece is getting married. It's about time! I'm very happy for her, and I just met her Fiance and he is a good guy and funny. They are perfect.

Why is it that money can't grow on trees again? Not that it would solve all my problems, but it would help.

I think I'm a caring and compassionate person. I have empathy for loved ones, friends and family. Maybe too much sometimes. I take everyone elses problems and throw them on my shoulders and sometimes it's too much to bare. Throw along my own issues, I feel like I'm gonna fall to my knees. I can't just chuck the feelings though, so how do I cope? Worse yet, is the feeling that nobody really cares that you sacraficed your own self to try and help someone. To not even say 'hey, everything finally worked out now, thanks'. I mean I feel really horrible that I tried to help as much as I can, and I didn't even get a call to say I'm safe and home now. Is that being selfish?

I guess I have to learn to manage those feelings, but with so much going on right, it's hard to manage. Let alone all the horrors going on all over the world. So I just sat in the car yesterday, just sat there and closed my eyes. My husband tried to lure me out, but I wasn't having it, then of course he sends Mateo to come to door and say "Mommaaa, come out" Of course I did, he brings me joy. His sweet smile and hugs and kisses make it better. But why couldn't my husband understand I just needed a minute to myself. No TV, to kids running, no "what's for dinner mom?", no cleaning or picking up. Just one freaking minute. My mind goes a mile a minute, I need some time to make things clear in my head. I really think it's affecting my work. I can't concetrate on anything. I'm worried and stressed.

There's my vent for today. I'll come back with a happier post later. I'll go take a walk to the new gourmet Ralphs store here in Downtown LA and get some lunch. Maybe the HOT HUMID weather will help me think.

Wait, now that I got started, It's like the floodgates have opened. Sometimes it's difficult to talk about, especially since this forum is so public. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but it really sucks when you lose a friend. I'm the type of person who really can't let go. If I feel like I've been wronged in some way, I'm not the person to ask for forgiveness. If it's my fault, then most likely I will. The problem you encounter when you have strong willed personalities, is that neither party will accept the fact that they were wrong. And it goes on. I'm usually a happy go lucky kinda girl. I go with the flow most times. But I'm a Leo, and as most of my friends and family know already, when I get angry, hurt or dissapointed, it's not a good thing to be around me. What to do. Yes, I could be the bigger person in this or any situation. But at this point, I don't know if it would help. And with everything posted above going on, I'm tired. Plus there is SO MUCH MORE going on that I can't even begin to discuss, but I imagine I'll be able to talk about it in the future. It's like everyone's gone crazy. And though this issue seems like it would be somewhere in the middle of all my problems, it's only one that has layed heavy on my heart. It's been pushed back so that I don't have feelings on it, because when it comes up, I get diarreah of the mouth.

NOW, that's been said, I think I'll go pick up lunch now.

Manic Monday

Another not so clever title. Hey, I'm new at this.



You know when you have something pictured in your mind, and it goes horribly wrong?



Well, I scrapped, and had some genius ideas swirling through this brain of mine, but you see, it all went horribly wrong. I am not terribly disappointed in the outcome, but I'm not completely happy. It's not exactly what I had in mind either. Without further ado (is that how it's spelled -- I wish blogger had spell check - oh! it does you say)




Today soccer practice went horribly wrong as well. I'm sure I left the coach and other coaches scratching their head. Mateo is more interested in scratching the dirt with a stick then running drills. Mind you they are FUN drills. I mean who doesn't like kicking a freakin' ball?? Really??

So we are doing running around cones. Run fast, run backwards, next, run side to side. Well, it's his turn, he digs his heels and says NO! I say fine, if you don't do it, we are leaving and we will not play on the slides. OKAY! I wanna go home... OMIGOD! So I get his hand and say C'mon then, we are leaving. There, right in the middle of practice. I walked away and didn't even look back. Ugh... Is this what I get 1/2 hour early to work for??

Hopefully come Wednesday he will have better thoughts.


Night y'all. Today is the season finale of Hell's Kitchen. In my opinion none of these chef's have what it takes. Who can't fry an egg. But I would like to see what kind of kitchen they each build.

Uploading

Does it ever feel like life is just like uploading? You wait and wait and wait...

So huge shocker, Nick was evicted. :( Dominic and Sarah left SYTYCD :( Some of my favorite people. Personally I think Lauren and Pasha should have gone. But I didn't vote so I can't cry.

On GH, Liz admitted she slept Jason last year, 9 months before she had Jake. ummmmm, get a clue Lucky. Sam is out for vengenance.

Today I stayed home. My throat has been killing me for a bout a week. I'v been sick with a summer cold/cough/allergies, for about 2 weeks now. When I looked at the back of my throat there is a white bump on my right side. I sat in the doctor's office for 3 hours. They received my lab results from my last blood draw. Everything was okay, except my A1c was 8.5.. Ouch not good. When I was pregnant it was 5.4. The doctor grilled me about my diet, said I was too fat, and I needed to go on a diet. Not in those literal words, but basically. I am going to a dietitian to see if that helps. I mean I really already know what to do, it's just putting the principle to work. It's hard.
Here are my butterflies and flower. I swear it's magical to come home and see them flying around my house.

Caterpillar

Purple Passionfruit Flower

Butterfly


Rest of vine, yes that is a cactus, and it's climbing on it. It's California after all.
There is also a bee on the flower way on the right. You can barely see it.